More Old Stuff

4-8-93

Are you so totally obtuse
that you cannot recognize
                          my muse
The wrenching of the clouds
          produce only blaring horns
          and clashing cymbals
          a cacophony
          a call of anguish
          a sigh of regret
The rains whisper on
                        despairing ground
               and all of the sorrows
                        cannot be found
A yellow daffodil
Streams with rivulets of mud
               and sings its requiem
               in silence
      to its only hope
                       its dream
                       its sorrow
shedding brown tears
As it sinks below the slime


It dies
And yet to die
The obsidian wall of oblivion
the comfort of the womb
encloses
The peace - perhaps
              the joy of reunion.

##

4-9-93

Somewhere along deserted days

I lost my way

cast adrift

the frayed ends of the rope

hobbled beneath the murky sea

Lost on the endless tide

of hope and pain

Dreams and emptiness

The line of the horizon

An unbroken thread

of despair

And all the salt of the sea

speaks to me

of endless tears

streaming down

into the bottomless gulfs

Eternal depth on depth

So far beneath the rotting boards

of the raft so small

so frail

##

5-15-93

I long to kiss the hollows

                      of your bones

And dance with you

          in the morning

on the rolling tides

of sun waves

I long to swim in your

                       sudden smiles

And float on the

                         dreams in your

eyes flashing

I long to hold you in

                           the pit of my chest

And feel your warm

       breezes

Cool the ache in my heart

I long to touch you

                                  in all your fragile places

And drink deeply

                 from your cup

of flowing wine.

I long to hear your

            voice song

Speak to me in

                  velvet down   

and your laughter

like bird wings

Together we . . . kick

away the sands

along the pathways

to the deadly seas

and dodge

the serpent's thrust

against our alliance. . .

I long to hold you

in ambered embraces

flying through spaces

in a golden stone, perpetual

with pearls flashing deep.

##

Imagine this - I don't even remember who I was so in love with as to write such a poem. I'm sure I was broken hearted.  Life was so strewn with such hazards for me. Let's see, 1993 - college - Oh - I remember. . . Oh my . . . well - that was a bit steamy!


Here is a nice album I am listening to:



5-20-93

I run naked
through flying branches
leaves flap wetly
against bared breast
I run with no thoughts
              of tomorrow
              no gleanings
              of time past
I run barefoot
through forests of tempra
Deep green drips
thoughtfully
down my rebellious spine
I run with song spinning
                out of layers
                deeply
                undefined
I run lonely
Through resonating valleys
winds blow through me
denying my essence
I run with raining eyes
                 on the pathway
                 of me
                 I leave no trace.


##

  6-3-93

You __________________

you are raiding my heart

and daily

you shoot me dead

with the darts in your hands.

The rubber earth

beneath your feet

Propels you

beyond my reach ----

What are you?

That you can rip

so much of me

away in one look.

If you look

do you see?

What am I to you

that you take my offerings

and disappear

into a gray mist

so cavalier______

I cannot penetrate to you.

You___________________

you are the shadow

of my song

the mystery of my days

I paint you in the mornings

and when the sun goes

down

you are gone.

A connundrum

A wonder

Why do I love you? You______________

 a mere shell

around an essence

of my need.

You__________________

like the dew

on an emerald sea

you float away from me. . .

like the beating of a wing

in an empty empty sky . . .

a tear falls

and floods a universe

subliminal

to understanding

beyond a realm of hope

within a dream

and you

where are

You?________________

##

6-22-93

You surprised me today

You came and spoke to me

Thanking me for some

                little note

                I had left

                on your desk

My mind was on Spanish

And you called my name

I remember you

But, ethereal you

you are like a dream.

I dared to look

at your face

But it fades now

your smile

like the Cheshire Cat.

I try to call it back . . .

Your eyes flash dark

And bring a smile

              to my memories. . .

I love you

How can I not?

When you

Spoke to me today

You sat

and listened to my noise

You were there

Your face before mine

I could have reached

                      out

                           and

                                  touched you . . .

Why didn't I?

##

That day comes back so vividly to me. I had forgotten that love. How time slides things away from us . . . and rightly so . . . that was a painful time . . . because love hurts!   I have to confess that I am not putting in this blog most of those love poems.  I think the brain is a little damaged, as if from too much wine, when one is in love. Just one more about my lover__________

July 1993

Days have flowed

like blood

or clear spring water

singing as it rises

over mountain's ribs

And your face

Has been washed

by times rough cloth. . .

your edges have been

smudged

through the grinding

of passing crystals.

Although not invisible

to me

you have blurred.

The sound of your voice

is stilled.

I cannot bear the

thought

of your drifting

so far

from me.

How can I get you back?

##

Well, I remember that lover . . . passionate, but not long lasting . . . like the dew in the hot summer sun . . . quickly melting away . . . and leaving no trace.


This album is so relaxing and comforting. Really very good, another one of my old favorites at the bottom of the stack. I'm pulling them out for a re-listen.



July 17, 1993


Don't take away my voice
O subtle day.
You leap at me from
                    behind kind clouds;
The kind that stay and stay.

Don't take away my song
O slippery sun.
And tear the breath
                    from my troubled veins
On the road where I am from.


Don't take away my tears
O fading star.
You reflect your face
                     on the mirror of my eyes
When I long to be where you are.

Don't wash away my sweat
O falling rain
You kiss against my cheeks
                      with gentle patting paws
Then rip away the furrows of
                                       my pain.

Don't take away my love
O beautiful soul
You touch the central pulse of me
                      with the breezes of your breath
And I melt into your mold.


##

7 - 15 - 93

They tell me

I'm doing O.K. . . . .

That's what they tell me

But I find

Deep in the canyons

of my mind

A flowering bush

A sparkling, flinging

                                   stars into the darkness

                        bush

My creation

sending light

Where no light was

sending might

into the night

No need to run

I'm doing O.K. . . . . .

But the sparks

get in the way

And everywhere I go

I let them show.

##

7-18-93

_________i hate tests

your test was hard

I needed the capacious

memory of a capricious

camel

Which

of course I do not have.

Names escape me . . . . . they are

Ants running, fleeing

the flood

bearing away

the important stuff

the little white sacks

of gene material

the memories

of the tribe

The heart and soul

of the community

slips away

leaving empty

echoing

caverns

within which

there is small hope . . . 

and a small soul

stumbles 

her empty skull in her hands

i_______________

##

July 1993

It has been so long

Since the clouds

broke

and danced across

             the mountains

I haven't heard 

             the mountains

sing

      the dance of the comet

And the moon sighs

when she sees the gray.

She longs to see

her reflection

in my eyes.

She longs to find me

and hold me

once more in her arms.

It has been so long

Since the clouds

danced to the song

the mountains sing

about a comet

long ago

Who fell to earth

and couldn't rise

She sank in agony

her silver scattering

into the broken brooks

And all the clouds convene

to keep her there

Deep in the

Mountain's valley

where the mountain's

waters

wash her gently.

But she cries

for the moon sighs

when she sees the gray.

Her longing for me

grows stronger

every day

as I long

for love.

And the mountain sings

to her valley

where the comet

 lives

and her scattered silver.

##

Well, I think I was on hash with that one. Pretty bad but I like the story so it goes here and maybe will improve, like wine, with age or . . . into vinegar.

 And - well since you asked so nicely - one or two more love poems - will it never stop? Oh - those were the days!

July 1993

Your eyes are the sun spots

which change the direction

of my storms

And I blow in the dark

a gentle breeze

between your breasts

A sigh

A gentle smile . . .

from you

And I robe you

In atmospheres of blue black

And I scatter the stars

between your thighs . . .

I touch your heart

And you give me

an eternity . . .

##

7-29-93

I saw you today

From far away

So I turned away

But the sight of you

Burned into my retina

and you stayed

one inch tall

forever in the green

walking up the hill

with that serious look

of yours . . .

But vulnerable

like best crystal.

And I longed for you

All over again

as if I could

own you

as if I could

hope

to have

even one tiny

piece 

of you.

##

Embarrassingly enough there are stacks of this stuff.  It seems that I couldn't shut up. To bad so many of them are so graphic - I simply cannot put them in a public place - for innocent eyes to wander over.

There once was a time

When I believed

All my dreams would

                        come true.

When was that time?

And why has it drifted

                        away?

I know now that

Nothing I treasure

                        is here to stay.

I see the mold

I see the rust

I see my dreams

          diminished by dust

Though not hopelessly

         for I still dream

Childhood long gone

Fresh visions diminished

A harsh light shines

On life's last mysteries

And a cry swirls in

           the fusion's storm

A cry for what the future

          carries. . .

In the end it is all

                        the same

                        the same

Doomed to repeat

The same mistakes

And we wonder

Why we cannot hear

               cannot see

And the dreams

                evolve

And become . . .

               just dreams.

## 

And that is all for tonight!