What I Understand . . .

What am I . . . ?
a piece of flesh
a colony of cells . .
a near dispersal of atoms
along a line of time . . .
somehow coordinated . . . compelled
to form a familiar figure .. .. something
recognizable . . . something, yet vague . . .
like a flail of corn silk. . .
or a jellyfish of the deep .  .

and here are
planets tugging on the strings
of my heart . . . I dream
of something so ephemeral
that my vision is but blindness
and the bits of me . . . like fragile bubbles . . .
incoherent with struggling goals,
and I envision the beyond . . . where
I am not welcome . . . not yet . . .
where angels gather in glory
and colors beyond my spectrum . .
each shape a home,
each breeze a wing displaced . .

I move my head and find your eyes
looking into mine . . .
there a reflection of me . . . 
and I dive into the rippling pool of your heart . .
beating, bloody and warm . . .
with a life not yet fully disclosed . . .
each moment held fragile,
the future a tale yet untold . .
the past a watery dream . . . fading . .  fading . .
a hot coal in the center of each chest
thrives on the unimagined . . .
I sense the eons of pressure . . . building,
creating diamonds of untold glory
within the caged center of the living . . .
and the of the dispersed . . . those
who have traveled on . . .

I reach out with fingers . . .
almost unthinking
to touch your tender cheek . . .
and watch you blink . . . one drop . . .
a tear strolls down the curve of your face . .
something presents itself . . . circular . . .
sorrow becoming joy . . .
conflict falling into peace . . .
a flower blooms and then withers . .
a life renewed . . . what is it that is so deeply buried -
and flies with the wings of subtlety,
building a breeze to tower . . . and envelope . . .
like the color of golden yellow . .  emanating from the nearest star . .
blazing . . . an entity arisen from the divine . .
nothing and then something . . . .

I am humbled before your scorn . . .
your judgement seems to know me . .
even beyond my knowledge . .  for
I see so many sides . . . to the proverbial coin . .  though
your footsteps walk before me .  . leaving me
in the dust of your contempt . . . you seem to have a
multitude . .  with you . . .
for so many have evaluated the soul of me . . .
my choices having gathered a chaos . . .
where no definition of hope resides . . .
My days are numbered and I am weak from age . . .
years of walking a rough road . . .
hesitating at each fork . . .
I take the one that offers adventure . .
and knowledge . . and the brilliance of a star . . .
I take the one that offers love . . .

I understand your need for perfection . . .
yet wholeness and absolute  control continues
to elude you . . .
I see the world around me .  . as muddy . . .
a mix of flesh and fire . . .
emotions and desire . . .
dreams and reality . .
what we see at the end of the rainbow . . .
that old elusive struggle,
meets us at the end of our days . . .
The oblivion of death . . .
faded memories . . . like the tattered flag of the Universe
waving lonely in the breeze;
we exist . .  and yet we don't . .. 
as transparent as forgiveness . . . 
as profound as reconciliation . . .
as ephemeral 
as tomorrow . . .