Thursday, June 2, 2011

When Love is Lost . . .

Photographed by a Friend . . .

There was that moment . .
when I realized that I lost you ..
my heart was broken and I choked
on a simple drop of tea . . .
my heart just suddenly broke
and I could not speak . . .
my throat closed like a spigot
on the pipe of dreams .. ..
first there was a flow of joy . .
and then it was just gone .  .
and I knew that I would never
be happy again . . .

Once you told me
that when passion died
a sudden death,
with you,
it was. . .
dead
never to be revived. . .
when it was lost . . . it was gone forever . .

Yet that just feels sad to me . ..
for my passion grows and clings,
like moss on the shady side of trees . . .
seeing nurture in every shadow . ..
I see the rainbows in its mist . .
and the reflections of gold from a sun
reaching around . . . clinging
holding . . . promising . . .
it sings to me in a low melody
running like liquid bubbles . . .
dripping with secret joys and lust . . .
it feels like my beating heart . ..
loving and longing .. ..
wishing .. .. and dreaming . . .

but I should know better . . .
I am not an easy person to love . .
my dreams are often foolish
and selfish . . .

I should remind myself that
I am a grown-up . . .
and wishes are for children . ..
I should remind myself . . .
that I have lost love before . ..
and survived . . .
I should hold my hand over my heart
and feel it slowly beating
. . . . for it hasn't stopped. . .
the blood still drips
like raw tears . .
streaming silent and relentlessly
down my face . . .


but perhaps my emotions are
based my selfishness . . .
for even in the glare of my love,
when I put on my sunglasses,
I can see the shadows of my delusions . . .
for I think you see me as a lost cause . ..
a foolish marionette perhaps . . .
dancing on my strings of desire . . .

I see you
I see what you reach for
and it is what you need . ..  what you desire . .

and there
I should be happy for you. . .
your trails should bring you growth and joy .  .

I don't
I don't bring that to you . . .
and I see that now . .
and I confess that to you with
some trepidation ..

for I know that although
you have fallen out of love with me

you don't realize
it yet . ..


***************************************************************************
what spaces do we have
we hold with a grip of death;
one moment we have hope
and then we lose . ..  it slips through our fingers
like sands of time . . . winged and free
yet wind whipped we are wounded
abraded by the erosion of loss and hurt
and yet the passage
of time dulls the pain  . . .
we brush ourselves off . . 
and quickly forget . ..  clutching at hope
which like tiny fragile bubbles
are so shiny and so compellingly beautiful

You grab that tenuous sprite .. .. Love . ..
and watch
as Love dances away . . .
leaving you more lonely than you
ever were before

***********************************************************
LOS ESTADOS DEL ALMA
by JORGESTRADA





Poem by me:
an ocean grows . . . its torrents
run dark . . . as black as ink . . .
an ink that lines my life . ..
my tears run forth at the bitter knowledge . .
when first it appears . . .
and creeps into the heart . . .
it throws its ice cold darts
to still the flow of joy . . . . .
and yet and yet there is hope . . .
a tiniest gleam . . .  a pearl
once glimpsed . .  in the deepest deep
and the darkest dark . . .
alone and desolate I grasp
but my hands came empty  . . .
and there I see a mirage . . .
a lie I told to me . . . by me  . . .
my dreams flow by like paper
torn beneath the sea
wet . . . so wet with the tears I wept
shredded and falling apart . .
I hold the last rose from
the tree of our life together . .
as the petals fall one by one . .
and what I thought was the dew of love
are the tear drops from what was severed . .

***********************************************************

When Rainbows Fall
by Doemee






Poem by me . . .

I always ran to where it was brightest
seeking love and joy . . .
I knew that there was warmth
and companionship . . .
above the heights of the storm
and away from the deepest sea . .
I looked for love to find me . .
I looked the most for thee . .
and I did so adore you
I loved you most of all . . .
above the heights of the storm
and away from the deepest sea . . .
where ever there were rainbows
the rainbows they must fall
I knew if I could but catch them
and hold them safe in my heart . . .
I could keep one forever . .
and never see it depart . . .
and though the storms must come
and tear my love to shreds . . .
I still seek that rainbow
that dances alone on the ragged cliffs
above the heights of the storm
and way from the deepest sea . .
for "When Rainbows Fall"
Then rainbows they must fall .  . .

**********************************************************

Sentimientos
by Marcos Cala







Poem by me:
There is an end to everything
                                              to everything we must say goodbye
there is a heartache in everyone                                          
                                                painful and bewildering
a lonely song . . . it sings its melody                       
to those who feel
to those who hurt . . .
                                                    to those who have memories . ..
there is peace beneath that wind tossed sea                                
                                          but I haven't yet dived down that deep .. .
I still battle those torrential waves                    
                                 at the surface of pain and misery . . .
and yet I know at the bottom                                                
                   I will remember the joy
                                                          of the time we had together . . .
and this terrible pain will become                               
a faded and misty memory
                                           sweetly dark . . .  a distant melody

******************************************************************

A Quiet Light
by Somewhere off Jazz Street






Poem by me:

And here I am
alone again . . .
the atmosphere so close and dark
no moon
no stars
no heart beats near
the nights are long
so lonely . . .
so very hard to bear . . .
They echo with the sound
of your voice . .
a ghostly refrain to my ears . . .
the memory of your song
touches the tenderness
of my lips . . .
a glimmer for a moment . .
ragged are my tears,
they flow those waves of saltiness
down the curve
of my still cheeks
raw is my aching heart
despairing are my needs . . .
I am but a walking shell. . .
when I move
my bones crumble . . . gray and bleached . . .
thus they scatter to the winds
along the drifting sands . . .
alone I lie . . .
so cold
before the sun will rise . . .

***********************************************************





I am not done here . ..  
for I am not done exploring
that deep dark and lonely cave . ..
where resides
the pain of losing love . .. 
of knowing when. . .
exactly when 
it departed from that object
that is loved by me  . .. 
yet in seeking to cling
I just postpone the pain . . .

2 comments:

CŒDES Pierre-Marie said...

What ever is your state of mind Barbara, you know how to express your feelings.
When Love is Lost... maybe that one was not for you !
But the Love of God is still there, for you, always.
If you wait patiently, He will give you what you need, because he knows what is good for you, since He loves you.
Hope my friend !

PM

Wolfsong said...

Thank you PM . . . I believe in ultimate love from the creator . . . it is always there . .. unchanging . . . always just itself . . .

I do like to plumb the depths of all feelings though . . . accepting the pain but exploring it too . . . giving it room to roam in a world of agony and ecstasy . . and everything in between . .

we were created to feel . . to have emotions . .. to bond . . live love and die . .

its what it is . . . and I am a very emotional creature . . . from one day to the next . . . you never know . . I feel .. . I am . . .

Love you PM

See you around Jamendo!
- Barbara