Friday, February 4, 2011

The Hidden Heart . .. is Exposed! Part I

Detail in parking lot of restaurant, Holgate Street and 39th, Portland



I won't take my blog down but I may slow down a little in adding new posts . . .

And I want to thank you all, for your input and thoughts, here and on Facebook . . .

I remember that I started this blog, for me, as a place to put my old poems, new writings, and ideas, and then I quickly forgot about it and let it sink like a stone in the murky seas of the Internet.  A year or so later, a friend on Jamendo found it and sent me a nice comment regarding its appearance and content.


I had never intended for it to be public and I had never realized how much of myself, orangeupurple AND Wolfsong, was on the Internet . . . I never planned on using my blog to entertain people or express myself publicly.


I shared it with a few friends . ..  and discovered a small audience . . . a very small audience. And I wrote for them and myself .  . Just these few.  I was happy and I found a place to express my emotions . . . such as my feelings, when I found out that my friend and workmate, Mary, had stage IV cancer......


Eventually my circle of Internet friends grew . . . and these were the people who seemed to love my writings. Most of my face-to-face friends and relatives never cared to look . ..  and there, I wonder why!


But, oh well!  I found new friends who were interested in my writings and then after some encouragement to try photography, from one of these friends, I shared my pictures too . .. 


I should have been happy . . . and content . .  but I gradually became audience hungry and greedy. I discovered the "stats" tab and found that quiet and invisible people were stopping by to see my page and I began to count those numbers. 

And there . .  a problem developed . .. 

To Be Continued:

5 comments:

CŒDES Pierre-Marie said...

"Most of my face-to-face friends and relatives never cared to look . .. and there, I wonder why!"

This a question most of us - artists of today - can share. So do I. The only ears I reached with my music are those which are on Jamendo, and yours too; And what happened next, we became friends, and we met.
My family, my closest friends, none of them had the curiosity to give a listen to what I do. The only one, a friend for decades - Egazmod - who encouraged me to post my music on Jamendo - himself receives no interest from his close circle.
I just note that it had to be that way and will never complain. Doors open in a very unexpected way.
What really matters is to pull our life thread and enjoy what it comes. We met Barbara, what do you know ?
Love and warm hug.
PM

Wolfsong said...

Yes, its a mystery to me . . but I have extended family through my Internet friends.

I should qualify my statement, though, because I have a friend who comes regularly . .. an old friend from work. And she loves the music from Jamendo too, so she listens and reads.

Love and thank you . . .
Barbara

Van Syla said...

PM said :" My family, my closest friends, none of them had the curiosity to give a listen to what I do."
and I add : all the people I work with 8 hours a day ...nobody is interested in my music.
Why, I don't know.
The nicest thing that happened to me on Jamendo was making new friends.
I even met them for real !! :)

Thanks for leaving your blog open. It is a beautiful place for me to walk in and to dream away.
Love,
Syl

Wolfsong said...

I'm sorry that PM and Syl's family and friends are uninterested in their music . . imagine having that added connection between loved ones. . ..

It surprised me when I tried to share with my people . . . and there was such a blank look and a flicker of sly fear in their eyes . . everyone had that hunted and cornered look on their faces. . . as if I were going to force them to look at my blog.

My feeling is that people who know you have an established foundation for their relationship with you and perhaps they fear a little that they won't like these artistic offerings of yours . .. and then what do they say . . ."I looked, I listened and sorry but its not my thing?!!" So maybe that's why they avoid getting involved in a friend or family members art? I don't know . . . its interesting.

I was talking about my meltdown, on my blog, to a friend last night and she commented, almost bragging, "I haven't looked at your blog." LOL . .. I know . . . but that's alright .. .

So it just means that I have another life . . . which is very fulfilling in many ways . . . on the web . . . but perhaps I need to find a better balance between the two . . . my physical life and my Internet one . . .

Thank you, Syl, for your comment . . .

CŒDES Pierre-Marie said...

"My feeling is that people who know you have an established foundation for their relationship with you and perhaps they fear a little that they won't like these artistic offerings of yours . .. "

I do think this is what it is all about.
They are afraid to hurt us or to deceive us.
They love us for what we are and not for what we do - on your own!

"So it just means that I have another life . . . which is very fulfilling in many ways . . . on the web . . ."

Right for most of us. It is just another path across the fields.
Does it really matter ? No !
Because we enjoy what we do and share it with other people we would have never met otherwise.
So. . .
Let us keep on quietly, happily, with peace in our mind and faith in our heart.
Who can ask for anything more... are we not happy together ?
Sharing much more than music or words, but what we are, and our thoughts, questionings, helping one another, heading in the same direction, doing what we can, the way we can. . .

Love you my Friends.
PM